I've been to work today, my first day in for.....ooooh.....weeks. Needless to say I had 103 emails and they were nearly all, to my shame but also my great delight, containing jokes. This one had me cackling all to myself in a deserted waiting area - these are (apparently) all genuine errors found on church noticeboards.The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals-------------------------- The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at some one who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to...

Sir Ian Blair is expected to announce his resignation as Metropolitan Police Commissioner this afternoon - and step out on the path to celebrity… - Chenier Sir Ian Blair Teaches Amy Winehouse To Dry Out Ladies And Gentlemen, The Death Of Jean Charles De...

Our man with his finger on the pulse of these things tells me that gay Tories are complaining furiously about Brum as a venue as they do not know the bar scene, whereas they know Brighton, Blackpool and Bournemouth inside out.One fellow was dischuffed at only finding a venue catering for ladies who like ladies, another was irked at only finding somewhere good five minutes shy of closing time and further moans noted the woeful lack of sleaze venues. On top of that, Stonewall let the side down by hosting a /dry/ lunchtime fringe event, thus making pulling a tad of struggle. A little light googling would seem to suggest that the gents who prefer gents could have made better use of the internet as a resource prior to, or indeed post, arrival in...

Oh sweet Jesus. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the next vice president of the United States: It’s going to happen. Trust me. The next eight years are going to make the last eight years look like The West Wing. (Via Brisso)...

Up and at ‘em this morning and I had the bread rising by 7:30am. I am now showered and ready to begin my other baking. I have discovered that I have no milk for the spinning ladies’ tea/coffee and no time to go seek some. *sigh* I got up to find that the cats had discovered by...

"Which of you charming ladies is Blanche Hunch?" From Shakespeare via Lord of the Rings, the great Sir Ian McKellen charms the Coronation Street bookclub in this great YouTube. All apart from Kev...

Bet you've never wondered which netbook is best for attracting the ladies. That's what we're here for -- to answer the questions you never knew needed...

We have reported on a variety of USB related devices in the past, but I will have to admit that we have ignored the needs of the ladies. So, in order to show that equality amongst genders is still alive, I would like to proudly display the USB Gift Set For Ladies. As you can see, the USB Gift Set For Ladies is made with plenty of pink accessories. For example, it includes a Mini Vacuum Cleaner, a USB fan, a USB lighted mirror, and a USB Mood Light Pen Holder. I realize this may sound anti-feminist, I suppose that the USB lighted mirror is for checking the makeup. I suppose the fan is for keeping it cool, and the vacuum is for tiny dusty messes. I suppose that Barbie or Elle Woods from Legally Blonde would feel very comfortable with these USB accessories. I couldn’t help but...

I've been laughing about this thread for ages as one of the main protagonists is a friend of mine (Hey Jimbo!). What I didn't realise is that it's been one of the biggest hits on Digg and Reddit this year!. So without further ado, Ladies and Genitalmen, Why you shouldn't ask for help on the...

More bad news has broken out for us guys (and ladies who require us guys) regarding technology having an adverse effect on men’s sperm...

Columnist Steven Chapman has an interesting column arguing against claims that ladies night's in bars should be banned because they discriminate against...

The glamour of the Duchess of Devonshire has eclipsed a very important historical fact. She was not the only lady to have become involved in politics long before female suffrage had become a political fact. Nor were the Whigs the only ones to have powerful and influential political hostesses.Tory Historian is reading Diane Urguhart's "The Ladies of Londonderry", a history of that powerful family through the distaff side. The book follows the story for 150 years, from 1800 to 1959, by which time the role of the political hostess had diminished though had not disappeared completely.With women entering politics directly and, as it turned out, ready to rise to the very top, back-stage management seemed to be a little less important. Further reports of the book will...

A promotional video for a maker of horrific sweaters for ladies. As found at...

A ladies darts team claim they were kicked out of a league because one of their players used to be a man. Melanie Partlow joined the side two years ago after a sex operation transformed her from a married forklift truck driver called Mick. One-legged Melanie, 57, a double top specialist, became a star and helped win several cups. But now Colliers B ladies have been axed from the Cheslyn Hay women’s league near Cannock, Staffs. Officials say it is because team members have used foul and abusive language during matches. But the players believe it is because opponents have complained about...

And according to the 3 pm news David Cairns has resigned as minister of state at the Scotland Office.Place your bets on Field Marshall Styre ladies and...

LADIES. Gentlemen. Scotsmen. Your toilet awaits… Spotter: Lisa...

... and we are moving on, ladies and gentlemen; yes we are. We take with us those who realise that the Tories will be, substantially, no better than NuLabour (no matter what the alien-voters might say).We have sorted out some stuff, and now the party is ready to get jiggy with it. Basically you are with us, or you believe that socialism is great.Because here is the moral argument, ladies and gents: if you believe that your morals are superior to everyone else's, then carry on.If you believe that your morals are no better than anyone else's, then you are a libertarian and should join us.If you believe that you have some kind of moral superiority over everyone else, then go and join another party; but don't ever argue that you are a humanist: you are a totalitarian cunt.And the vast...

Sketched from Boob GoddessI tried, oh how I tried, but no, I'm crap at drawing faces, it either ends up looking like the drawings of a six year old, or sketches from a zombie invasion.Ladies, I'm...

The long distant image of 7 foot tall, staunch men called the British Constabulary has gone away it seems – some British bobby’s are getting so fat that they have to call for back-up if they need to transport more than one ‘crim’ in their cars for fear it will break the weight limit allowed whilst getting them back to HQ! I’m putting this down to too many bacon and sausage sandwiches – because they surely get enough exercise running around chasing bad guys all day. Now, this also happened Stateside too, firefighters and cops around the US have been blasted for being too overweight so our friends at PETA US sent round their lettuce ladies to educate the porky public servants with free Tofurkey® sandwiches and copies of the “Vegetarian Starter Kit” (you can nab PETA...

Hot on the heels of Ladies Rugby (mentioned below) my attention has been drawn to another new site launched to fill the gaping chasm that is media coverage of women's rugby.UK Ladies Rugby confusingly also has the title "Ladies Rugby" as its masthead, but was obviously beaten to the URL by the earlier site. Leaving aside the touching inability to spell the word "England" at the top of the screen (like I should talk about spelling...) it is, I think, a rather more better designed offering and includes several resources that are (so far as I am aware) unavailable elsewhere - including a geographic database of English women's clubs, organised by name and by county.It is just adult clubs, but other than that its very impressive with details of addresses and leagues. I can't spot any obvious...

You too will find it difficult to understand how this eligible bachelor man has remained single for so long. With his fail safe seduction techniques how could he fail? I mean, ladies! Please form an orderly queue. If you want to find out more, click on the......

When I let the hens have free range of the garden the other day, it was like a riot at St Trinian’s. They’re not ladies, they’re anarchists! Up the revolution! ShareThis...

Dev had his choice of two lovely ladies this week. There was Lisa the accountant - attractive, single, maybe a tad dull. And Nina, whose "come hither" expression had been honed over many a Bollywood...

Everyone loves a good Burberry protest, and there’s no exception for far-away lands like Hong Kong – check out these bronze, silver and gold naked ladies below! It’s just days before the Olympics kick-off in Beijing, so what better time to tell the world about Burberry’s use of fur. A huge proportion of the world’s fur products come from China, and Chinese fur farms are notoriously inhumane in how they treat their victims. No medal for you Burberry, or maybe just the boobie prize....

The Corner Shop Casanova has been quiet for too long, but we're about to see Dev back doing what he does best - romancing the...

I was once* inundated with a request to explain fully the Various Provocative Stances utilised by one’s undressed nubile young lady for such things as Indifferent Badger Procurement, and other related activities such as All-Nude Chicken Intriguing. So, after allowing a decent enough interval to elapse so that my interlocutor has in all probability got bored and wandered off to more accommodating alternatives to… er… whatever this is, I will now do my best to offer as little advice as I feel I can get away with. Of course, there are several specialist publications that deal with these stances in all the wide variations thereof and therein. These publications can often be found on the upper shelves of certain newsagents, and for the connoisseur they are also available by mail...

See more funny videos and funny pictures on CollegeHumor This is the guy: Hat-tip : Andrew Sullivan...

Ladies and gentlemen gathered in London at the weekend for the ultimate sporting event for the elegant and unathletic - The Chap Olympics.Described for 'the perfectly dressed, under-achieving dandies with no interest in sport', the event is organised by The Chap Magazine.Events included 'Three-Trousered Limbo', where participants share enormous trousers and must wriggle under a pole and 'Bounders', where six cads approach six ladies and behave atrociously, with the winner being the recipient of the loudest slap.The Chap movement was created in 1999 by Hampstead-born Gustav Temple in an attempt to "stand against the horrible culture at the time" including lad's magazines and wearing too much sportswear.There are photo galleries here and here....

"I'm not quite sure what it's going to be like walking down the street as Tony's actions get more sinister," says Gray O'Brien. "I might get attacked by old ladies with...

Spam This Just In: Scarlett Johansson is a Teutonic Clone!: “Hello dear ladies and gentlemen!I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person, who has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not damn sexy), most important—CHRISTIAN young lady!”...