We’re off to Japan again for today’s ad, and to be honest, our headline tells you all that you need to know about this one. Here in Britain, we’re still stuck with the Halifax and their Bastard FM radio station. In Japan, they’re knocking out hair-clapping ads as a matter of course. Ah well…...

As seen in the United States of A during last night’s Oscars binge. Launch date across the pond confirmed as April 3rd. Does it make you want one then? Does......

Now that we're really starting on the gardening activities for Spring many horticultural companies are also upping their game, so catalogues with oodles of plant temptations are flopping onto my doormat on a regular basis. I've warned against this practice before, but this year I've found it much easier to resist: the descriptions of the plants on offer I've seen so far are so fanciful and excessive, I was almost crying with laughter. However, there's a danger some of you might still be taken in, so here's a quick guide to what some of those descriptions and photos really mean:Classic = It may be new, but it's really hard to tell because it looks just like any other of its kindEasy to grow = Ha ha ha! We're looking at really good profits at these prices!Exclusive = Nobody will touch this...

We’re an adventurous bunch here and there’s few places that we wouldn’t like to visit. Burnley is one of them, and the International House Of Pancakes in 1969 is pretty much the only other. Especially if it was exactly as depicted in this freaky-deaky ad that has been unearthed and plastered all over the internationally-renowned Internet service over the past couple of days. The visuals are bad enough, with a family slowly barrelling their way across a field towards their nearest IHOP, armed with fistfuls of brightly-coloured balloons. But the soundtrack… Oh the soundtrack! It’s like ZX Spectrum-era Aphex Twin with Alvin Chipmunk on vocals – if there’s an aural equivalent of the strobe lighting that kicks off epileptic seizures, this must surely be it. Tell you what though...

From mad ads in Denmark (albeit spoof ones) to mad ads in France. Worryingly, these ones are for real. There’s generally no argument when it comes to the idea that smoking is bad for you and various shock tactics have been used in an attempt to get smokers to knock it on the head. Now the French have gone all weird with the whole thing and are suggesting that if you smoke, you’re a slave to tobacco,  the slogan “Fumer c’est etre l’esclave du tabac” translating as “Smoking is like being tobacco’s slave.” Furthermore, they’ve illustrated the theory by creating a series of, erm, dubious images showing how that slavery might manifest itself. Smoke a tab and you’re basically giving the tobacco executive and his ilk a blow job, and they don’t care if...

Plan to have your usual winter plant saleDesign a seasonal banner to welcome customers at the entrance to your garden centreWait for a blogger without a camera to notice the ambiguity of your main messageLuckily her companion does have her camera :)Wait for her to notice the picture caption on the advert is also hilarious (click to enlarge picture)Et voila!My thanks to Threadspider for providing the picture. I can't believe this occasional series now stands at number 13, but then on the other hand perhaps I can because Chippenham's a rather quirky place. You can read the rest of the series (with a few added extras for good measure) if you click...

If you enjoy the taste of whatever it is that they put in a can of Dr Pepper, prepare to have your loyalty severely tested by this ghastly advert that the Pepper people have puked out over in the States. It’s another flash mob ad, a lazy device that advertisers increasingly use when they haven’t got any real ideas. But this one, set on the trading floor of the New York Stock Exchange, isn’t even in the true spirit of a flash mob, where hundreds of strangers converge on a place to carry out a pre-planned act at a given time. This is just some bad singers and some shit dancers bellowing their way through the Dr Pepper song as innocent bystanders stand by looking bemused and afraid. They could have just made a sock puppet and got him to sing the song in a funny voice up a tree and it...

The comedy behemoth Peter Serafinowicz has clearly been busy since yesterday evening, as this freshly-made ad shows…...

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As you probably know from the blanket coverage that has been afforded it across the media, today is the 53rd anniversary of Japan joining the United Nations. To celebrate, and this is in no way a blatant attempt to get a cheap laugh out of a wacky Japanese TV ad, we’re bringing you a wacky Japanese TV ad. But what is it trying to sell or tell us? The ingredients are thus – a small boy dressed as an 18th century prince singing something or other in a high-pitched voice, accompanied by a gang of what could be big toes but with babies’ faces instead of toenails. Intriguing stuff. Before you watch the ad, see if you can guess what the product is. Is it… (a) a digital watch (b) pasta sauce (c) lightbulbs Take a punt and then sit back, click on play and enjoy. Japan – whatever would...

... VacantI was feeling pretty vacant about what to post for V this time around until a couple of days ago when I was reviewing which photographs to feature in my walk around Bristol. I'd also been pondering how best to introduce the concept of Quirky Offices to you, then Voila! the perfect match was found :)I'm wondering if they're using Quirky in its architectural sense, as I outlined for Q's ABC Wednesday. It's possible, but for some reason I can't get the picture of rather oddly shaped rooms out of my head...For other posts on the subject of V, have a look at the ABC Wednesday...

Dogs is it? Yeah, we’ll have a dozen. But make sure they’re little ones ‘cos we haven’t got time to look after them properly…......

Think about well known phrases associated with finance and the financial crisisChoose one of these phrases to play withDream up a whacky promotion Negotiate with companies to display the promotion in whacky placesWait for a blogger with a camera to notice what's happened to her supermarket trolleyEt...

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Controversial juice pedlars Orangina made us all sick earlier in the year with their humanised animals ads – now they’ve given us a slightly different, but no less extreme feeling with their new campaign. It’s the launch of a new competition for people who can perform all manner of miraculous feats and tricks with their buttocks. The competition is called ‘Shake That Orangina’ (is there a pun there? Seemingly not) and you can upload videos of your own booty-wiggling exploits and win… oh, a tin of plums of something. We’d be amazed if more than a handful of men entered this and we think the whole thing is just a blatant attempt to get well-toned, fame-hungry young women to upload footage of their bottoms to Shake That Orangina. In case you missed it, that’s Shake That...

Today's Advent Sunday and ever since I was a little girl this is always the day we get the Christmas decorations down from the loft and I decorate the Christmas tree. It's a family tradition which NAH is more than happy for me to continue with ;)So you can imagine my delight when the nice people at Dobbies offered to send me a sparkly Snowtime Fibre Optic Sunburst Christmas Tree for me to try out. A package promptly arrived from Scotland via Parcel Force and as I was away on holiday at the time and my neighbours were out, it was taken to my local post office for me to pick up later.I unpacked the box this morning and assembled everything within a mere 5 minutes. There's 3 legs to attach to the base, the tree's branches (a single unit for this 4ft tree) to slot into it, plus the...

…you like like a complete arse in those glasses mate… …and so does your girlfriend.......

Decide to make your living through writing in stoneFind a derelict but prominent place to show off the kind of thing you can doWait for a blogger to have a good look at your wares by the railway viaductWait for that blogger to tell the blogger with the camera what you've foundEt voila!In case you missed it first time round, just like I've done for so many years, compare the word area with the rest of the piece. My thanks to Mark for telling me I should take a look again at this body of work ;)And here's a wider view of the first thing you see when you hit Chippenham's high street should you walk into town (like I do) from the west. Welcoming isn't...

Decide on a completely new product range for your garden centreAssemble your publicity materialEnsure it has a prominent display in the latest Garden Club newsletterWait for a blogger with a camera to spot something's wrongEt voila!For me this is wrong on two levels: Victoria has also explored the topic of garden centres' chosen product ranges recently - worth a look not only for her views, but the ensuing conversation in the comments. My local garden centre's also displaying a banner alongside the main road which reads: Our themed Christmas store now open. Guess what the theme is?In the interests of balanced reporting I should also add they're organising a project to coincide with National Tree Week, where representatives from each school taking part will have a session at the garden...

Readers: Take part for your chance to win a mini bluetooth USB dongle! Video: Introducing Sony Ericsson EXPERIA X10 and Rachel UI Sony Ericsson has launched their first Android phone the EXPERIA X10. Along with that, here’s a video introducing their new Rachel UI. Introducing an open and integrated world of social media, communication and entertainment. Building on top of the Open OS to deliver the most open, human and intuitive user experience yet. Related posts Sony Ericsson announces XPERIA X10 Android phone Sony Ericsson Satio advert released Rumor: Sony Ericsson XPERIA X3 will be an Android phone LG’s first Google Android phone – Etna Latest Google Latitude lets you spy your loved ones (or secret lovers!)...

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Happy birthday to you, Snoop Dogg. Throughout your 38 eventful years on Earth, you’ve managed to spend time in jail for cocaine trafficking, carve out a successful music career, become a TV host, beat a murder charge, coach a high school football team, make a porn movie, appear in the big-screen Starsky & Hutch remake as Huggy Bear, get yourself banned from entering an array of countries and (by your own admission) spend some time working as a pimp, retiring from that particular profession in order to spend more time with your family. Phew! Of course, you’re most famous for appearing in this mobile phone ad, playing the role of ‘Roy Black,’ a popular German singer who appears from inside of a fridge. Well done sir!...

Don’t like rugby? Watch it anyway!...

Here’s an ad for French TV network Canal+ which starts off as though it’s plugging some kind of ‘Jack Bauer Power Hour’-type drama overdose but then gets a bit weird as the hero ends up on a production line in a factory. Death surely awaits him. Or does it? We’re not giving away the twist at the ending but if you manage to guess what’s going to happen, you’re a big fat liar....

Start a very successful farm shop and cafe business on the outskirts of ChippenhamEnsure you have a wide range of organic goods with which to tempt your customersConstantly change your stock so that only the freshest of items are on displayWait for a blogger with a camera to notice you've not been quite so good at changing your signageEt voila!I think the squirrels must have taken them, just like they have from the hazel trees at the side of the house ;)...

If you've travelled much on London Transport over the last few weeks, you'll have seen the new Alpha Course poster pictured on the left.If you're anything like me, you'll have experienced an almost irresistible urge to fill in the survey by ticking the 'no' box. It appears that doing so might be a somewhat dangerous proposition.There's a discussion over on the Bad Science forum about someone who took that obvious action and was arrested by the London Transport Police for criminal damage. Apparently six police officers were present at the arrest.It all seems rather an overreaction to a piece of harmless vandalism.I mean, the poster asks a question. How can they object if someone gives them an...

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Ah, you have to take your hat off to lovely old Sony, who don’t seem to give a rusty fuck who they offend in their PS3 adverts. Only last week, we covered the PS3 ad which suggested that some people in Nigeria try to scam the bewildered on the Internet. Of course it’s as true as the fact that Coldplay are wettest group on the planet but the Nigerians were outraged. Wrongly of course. Now here’s this week’s piece of iffy PS3 promotion – and yet again we’re wafting the oxygen of free publicity all over it. The ads hail from Chile and include what we assume is a gamer giving a blood transfusion to a Nazi (below). But, as there’s every chance that Chile is teeming with the direct descendants of escaped Nazi high-rankers, it could alternatively be seen as a heart-warming piece of...

Readers: Take part to win a free Wi-Fire - long range WiFi adapter! New LG Chocolate BL40 advert For those who have been following our news about the new LG Chocolate BL40, a new telly advert has been launched here in the UK! As some of you may remember when we attended the launch of the BL40, we were thoroughly impressed with the amount of on board functionalities that the new LG Black Label series phone had and one of which was definitely that 21:9, four-inch panoramic widescreen - this new advert focuses exactly on that! Thanks Kajsa for the tip! Related posts LG Chocolate BL40 launch night - impressions, photos and video Leaked: Video of LG Chocolate BL40 Official: Second gen LG Chocolate phone BL40 Next generation LG Chocolate available from August Gallery: Hands on new...

Peter Jones. Peter sodding Jones from bloody Dragons Den. He’s about 9 feet tall and has teeth so white that he could blind a toddler from a thousand feet away just by grimacing at it. Of course, being a Dragon, Peter has designs on himself. He likes sneering at people who come to his lair with a begging bowl and stroking bundles of cash that will never be actually offered to a successful business partner as well as saying things like “I tell you what, I’ll take 49% of your company. Ta.” He’s also a man who infamously once said “I don’t have trouble getting dates because I’m seriously good-looking and wealthy.” That’s a nice thing to say to someone isn’t it? One of the joys of being ludicrously wealthy is that you can avoid...

What’s the golden rule of advertising everyone? Of course it’s ‘Don’t try and ape the opening scene from Trainspotting.’ The film is thirteen fucking years old everyone – do you think you’re speaking to a bunch of people who haven’t seen the thing? The second golden rule of advertising is one we’ve just made up and are only applying to Sony and their new PS3 campaign. The rule is ‘Don’t get someone in to do the voiceover who sounds exactly like Iain Lee, the talentless comedy gonk who was partly responsible for the BBC1 Watchdog hatchet job on the PS3 only last week. It makes you look like cocks.’ Unless it IS Iain Lee, trying to disguise his voice in order to rake in a few more pence before it all goes well and truly tits up… There you go Sony – we’ll be...

Stock an extensive range of environmentally friendly goods in your shop at RytonMake sure you include items never seen in other organic shops or gardening cataloguesWait for a blogger with a squirrel problem and a camera to spot a deterrent she's not seen before, in spite of extensive research into the problemWait a little while longer until she spots something's wrong with the translation (click to enlarge image if needed)Et voila!Having spent a small fortune squirrel proofing our loft last Autumn only to find they've now moved into the chimney pot instead, I was initially kicking myself for not finding this product earlier. Now I'm not so sure...

Some light mock iPhone ad fodder for your weekend teatime:......

Pepperami: cheeky bastard Crowd-sourcing then. A modern way of drawing upon the expertise of many to come up with a distinct solution. Or if you’re Unilever, the manufacturers of Pepperami, a sneaky way to get material for a new ad on the cheap. Unilever have announced that they’ll no longer be employing the expensive, hot-shot ad agency Lowe London to come up with their promos, as they have done for the past 15 years. Oh no, they’ll be crowd-sourcing from now on. Come up with the best idea for their next ad and you’ll win $10,000 (about £6,100) – and we’re guessing that’s much less than Lowe London would have received for their troubles. Matt Burgess, the managing director of Chrysalis UK, the division of Unilever that manages Peperami blahblahblah-ed: “This is not a...

Decide which products will be on special offer in your retail storesOrder the advertising materials, ensuring they're spellchecked and everythingDistribute to your stores who duly display them on their shelvesWait for a blogger with a camera to spot what the spellchecker couldn'tEt voila!Let's hope they're not using old has-beens in their salad ;)This is number eight in an occasional series which I thought would never get past 3. Click here to see the previous one, or here for the whole lot plus additional views of how it's done in Bath and Devizes...